As a child I experienced
Remembrance Day as the day everything stood still for 2 minutes. There was a ceremony with the queen and we watched it on TV before we ate our Sunday dinner. I valued and respected the day for what it signified, but felt no real connection. That all changed 5 years ago when my father died of cancer. He had served in the
R.A.P.C. and had been posted all over the world and our family with him. He served in the
Falklands during the crisis, which he never spoke of, despite our badgering. I was in America the year after his passing, which was when his cross was placed at
Westminster Abbey. My family had attended the ceremony and I longed to be there with them. Every time I would visit England over the next 5 years I would visit my father's grave and knew what to expect from the experience. This morning as I made my journey across the city to Westminster, I began to feel nauseous. As the garden of the Abbey came into view the sea of crosses was overwhelming. I thought I was going to throw up. Scanning the chart and then trying to decipher the map, tears were already overflowing from within. All these people were gone, no longer able to share in the moment, only in memory. I made my way to the R.A.P.C. section and there at the front was a small cross with my father's name. Without a thought for my surroundings my heart was pierced and the pain came flooding from my eyes. I cried without fear and my tears blurred my vision, yet I never lost sight of his name. After a minute I calmed myself, wiping away salty water and relaxing my breath, I knelt down in place. I sat for a moment and heard the tears of another. Standing up I walked around the grounds reading names and stopping when the number of crosses was too great to give room. I came for my father, stayed for others I would never meet and left feeling a part of something bigger.

Labels: RAPC, remembrance day